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2010/07/01 Restaurant Review: Hooters with a side order of South Africa

Before writing this editorial, I milled over the direction in which to take it and I have done nothing but conclude to the same two opinions time and time again…so, what I will do is explain both opinions to you on why I think Hooters is wonderful and the in the same breath, explain why it has no place in South Africa.
Hooters...it a taste for...wait, that's the wrong franchise!
Hooters...it a taste for...wait, that's the wrong franchise!

Sounding harsh already isn’t it? Well, it is, so in lieu of that, let me begin to firstly tell you why I don’t believe it belongs in South Africa. I must warn you before you carry on, my knowledge of the franchise is limited to what I have heard, which is always taken with a pinch of salt and what I have read on the internet, which we all know is the most reliable source of information in the world ! Oh yes…and my personal experience of the place itself. I have been “fortunate” enough to have eaten, drank and socialized at the newest Hooters to the Franchise, located at The Buzz Shopping Center in Fourways, Johannesburg.

I haven’t been to Durban, Umhlanga, which is where I hear they opened their first Hooters in South Africa somewhere round the end of last year (2009).


The Food:


Extremely average…and when I say, “extremely average”, it means…extremely average. I’ve done my best to sample varied meals throughout the times I’ve been (racking up 3-4 times now) and every time I have order and eaten something from Hooters, I have either been left a.) Unsatisfied, b.) Slightly nauseous, or c.) Over full. All of the options ring with a resounding negative connotation to them and unfortunately it’s true. I’m not going to list the meals I’ve had there, even though I have them memorized name for name, but what I will tell you is that – the Deboned-Chicken-Wings…well, I have yet to work out what part of the chicken those pieces actually come from.


The Place:


It’s tacky. Yes, tacky. It looks like an over-sized sauna and truly resonates with average American brands and companies. It just looks…well…tacky and cheap. I guess that if you willing on hiring that many staff and are buying an American based franchise, you going to have to cut cost somewhere and unfortunately it landed up being the décor and fittings of the restaurant. Maybe the idea to a Hooters Franchise is to have them priced ridiculously high but be able to sell each franchise by making their “Set-up Costs” seem minuscule. In the end, you’re only hurting yourself.


The Waitresses:


Hi, yes...I'll have...ummm...boobs...I mean...
Hi, yes...I'll have...ummm...boobs...I mean...

Okay, trying my best to be as neutral and as unchauvinistic as possible. The girls, in my opinion are slightly below average. This is not a house party where guys will be happy and content with…”well, at least some of the chicks are belters boet”…they need to all be “smoking” (gorgeous beyond belief) or they shouldn’t be working. If you cast your eyes to the international site (based obviously in the US) you’ll be able to see that the standard of Hooters Girls in the States are ridiculously high. Apologies must be made here as when I refer to the “Standard of the Girls”…I am referring to their sexual appeal and physical attractiveness. Yes, fine, maybe call me chauvinistic, but seriously ladies – do you really think we go there for the “Buffalo Wings”…? Really?

Look, the girls working at the establishment in Fourways are great, their attitudes seem friendly enough, they’re relatively attractive…but in no ways will one make me choke on my “Spicy Fillet Pieces”…! And it doesn’t matter how high you pull up those ridiculous orange pants…it just ain’t going to cut it. Take it or leave it…

Now for a little positive light on the matter. I said in the beginning of this editorial that I do have two opinions about the establishment and I was always planning on voicing them both – there are always two sides to the coin, unless you’re cheating – and I don’t cheat.


The Food:


It’s simple, uncomplicated, however over-priced – you know exactly what you’re getting when you order something…I draw comparison to the likes of Verimark – you see it, you like it, you buy it. Simple. The chips (French fries) are invented to say the least…it’s the only place in Johannesburg that sells…wait for it…”curly fries” and they’re awesome. I testify that they shared their recipe with McDonald’s because their flavour and texture is so alike – 10 points for Hooters.


The Place:


One big happy Fam...boobs...I meant Family!
One big happy Fam...boobs...I meant Family!

It’s warm and the Fourways establishment has taken into consideration the smokers and has a section – with bar I might add – all to themselves, so that is a serious win! The establishment is right on par with the rest of the Hooters worldwide. Their standard décor is the wooden paneling and even though it may seem a little bland at times, it makes certain for low maintenance and is consistent throughout the entire restaurant. The simple notion behind the Hooters Franchise is to be aimed at being a “Sports Bar” which has played right into the timeous hands of the World Cup of Soccer that has gripped our nation by the short ’n’ curlies for at least the next couple of weeks.

The idea behind the Hooters Franchise is to provide a “Family Environment” where people can get simple food and enjoy televised sport. Simple…yes, but it works.


The Waitresses:


"Hi, what can I get you?" - "How are your breasts tonight...?"
"Hi, what can I get you?" - "How are your breasts tonight...?"

As I explained before and I will iterate this point – I’m trying to be as unchauvinistic as possible with this explanation. What can be said is that the ladies who work there are on the ball, during the 3-4 times I have been there I cannot fault our waitresses in any way, shape or…ummm…form. They were friendly, took time to introduce themselves and even had a friendly chat with the table of ravenous (food orientated) males. They were speedy and always came to check up on us more than the required amount of times during our sitting – all of the ladies (at least the ones who’ve served myself and our tables) get out thumbs up.

To conclude, I will move away from some of the tangible aspects of hooters and attempt to explain the reasoning for this editorial. Funny enough…about two years ago I questioned as to why we, as South Africa, never had a “Hooters Franchise” and flirted with the idea of “what if”. Firstly, we have the sexiest women in the world – fact – and secondly, as a nation, we love beer and sports. What better starting point than that to bring in the franchise. Then all of a sardine – okay – two years later, Hooters arrived and how badly we hated the Durbanites for getting it first. Us Joburgers longed for the franchise and again, all of a sardine, there it was…one of our very own. The trend is contagious and I no doubt believe we’ll be seeing one in Pretoria and Cape Town within the next year – granted – and this is the point I’ve been trying to make – the franchise does something different here in South Africa to captivate the South Africa consumers. Sure, we love boobs, beer and “Buffalo Wings”, but is it enough to keep them coming back? I’m not sure.

What I feel the Hooters Franchise needs here in South Africa is a “spin”. A South Africanization if you will, something that will appeal to the South African consumer and say…”listen here, we know it’s an American thing, but we’re doing…this…to make you feel more at home!” I’d be happy with that…really I would! Here are some examples…how about a classy “Boerewors Roll Meal” or some kind of South African based “draw card” to hold our attention?!? This is just hear-say and if they (Hooters Powers that be) maintain their current course…I wish them luck, just don’t give me the chance of saying…I told you so.

Enjoy...

Chicken-Wing-King


Writer, David Alves 




Lingering Lingerie from Anne-lize
2010/08:Anne-lize's lingering lingerie!